All of us must admit, before we were mom’s we thought we knew what motherhood was like. We thought we knew what it was like to be ‘tired’ and ‘busy’ and we all thought our bodies would just bounce back after having our first little one. I am sure that there are a lot of realizations that I have had over the last 2.5 years that most of you have also had, and I am probably missing a few from my list, but here is what I have realized over the last 2.5 years.
1) My body is never going to be the same– Sure, pre Kai I was a size 0-2, now I am a size 4 with hips. Do I miss the fact that I can fit a size zero? Sure, at times I do, but then at other times I do not even think about it. This is my body after bringing a life into the world. Sure, if I work just a little harder at the gym and dedicate more time to myself, then I could probably get to that size two again, but right now, that is not really a top priority for me. Although in my twenties I believed that I would be one of those skinny mom’s. Ha! How amazing reality is, isn’t it?
2) My social life will look different- That has definitely changed for sure. I came to the realization that spending time with my son is a little more important than going to a pub or local restaurant, having a bottle of wine, and then being hung over the next day. Those days are gone! My social life now consists of play dates, meeting my friends for coffee, or just going for dinner or lunch where myself, and my girlfriends are basking in the glory of being able to sit and actually chew our food. So, yes, my social life is definitely different.
3) My group of friends will change– This definitely changed for myself and many of my girlfriends once they had their baby. First of all, my friends who are single or who are married with no kids, sometimes don’t understand when you decline an invitation because you are tired or your son was up half the night with the flu. Or they host a dinner party where dinner is served at 7 and you know you have to get home to put your little one to bed by 8. They can bask in the luxury of being able to live their lives on their own terms and on their own schedule, whereas I am responsible for another human being, so our priorities are definitely different. Will some friends understand? Sure. Will some stop calling? Yep! But you know what? That is ok! I made new friends via play dates, through my sons daycare, and my social circle has become more robust, just with a different group of individuals. Just remember, everyone who enters our life is there for a reason. Some will come and some will go. This has been a hard realization for me, especially at the beginning of motherhood.
4) Being on Mat Leave was the Hardest Year of my Life I thought when I went on Mat Leave I could take my time, get things done, take care of my son, and take a nap here and there. What I didn’t realize is that I would be exhausted from waking up every three hours, that I wouldn’t be able to nap while the baby napped because that is when I could actually get things done like housework, and that the days would fly by. I found that I didn’t really get to enjoy my year with Kai because I felt like I was in a daze of sleepiness half of the time. So Mat-Leave was hard, but I wouldn’t change it for the world because I got to see Kai take his first steps, say his first word, and him and I had the chance to bond for that whole year. But Mat-Leave was definitely not as easy as I thought it would be.
5) My Marriage Will Change– My husband and I have been together for almost 13 years and almost married for 5. Do we have our ups and downs? Absolutely (and any couple that says they don’t, is lying). We are a typical married couple. But, once Kai arrived, things changed. We learned quite fast that we parent differently (yes we talked about how we would parent pre-Kai), and that we had to make time for our marriage, whereas before, we always had time for the two of us. If we wanted to go to a movie together, we just went. Now, we have to arrange a sitter two weeks in advanced and we have to prep everything for the sitter and Kai before we leave. So now, our marriage has just changed a little now that Kai is a part of our lives, but I wouldn’t change our life together for anything!
6) Being A Mom Is Not Always Easy- I always knew that being a Mom would be a lot of work. My mother, to this day, is the best mother in the world. She was always there for me and my sister, and always did her best to give us every opportunity to be successful in our lives. When I first held Kai in my arms, I thought to myself, I am going to be the best mom to this little cutie no matter how hard it may be! But, everyday I struggle still with decisions I have make as a mom, and I often question my parenting. I often question my decisions, my disciple techniques, my parenting style, etc. I have realized that being a Mom is not as easy as I once thought but I am doing the best I can. In the end, as long as Kai is happy and well taken care of, then I am doing a good job!
In the end, I hope what I shared is similar to what you all have realized in becoming a new mom. Please share some of your realizations as well. Have an amazing day and thank you for reading. 🙂